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Operation Organize: The Epiphany

I've just had an epiphany. Or a paradigm shift. Or both?

I'M NOT ORGANIZED! I'm walking a pretty thin line between order and chaos.
Don't laugh. I assumed that having a fairly clean house meant I was organized. I thought filing all my papers meant I was organized. I thought managing to feed the baby at regular intervals meant I was organized. I've even made a lot of progress tackling some of my personal clutter monsters, like my fabric hoard, and patted myself on the back for how organized I was.
What I've just realized is the constant battle to keep the house clean and looking nice was actually causing me a lot of stress. I realized that whenever I finish a major cleaning project and sit down for a moment, I hear this little nagging voice saying "cat box, weed the garden, clean the garage, mop the floor..." and it goes on and on. Of course my perfectionist expectations add a lot of unrealistic items my List of Things That Must Be Done.
I find I'm easily overwhelmed by this seemingly endless List so I plug my ears and start singing LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU! The guilt at killing another house plant because I didn't get around to watering it, or when I don't get yet another birthday card off in time nags at me as well. There's so much to do sometimes I end up not doing anything-I've certainly perfected the skills of avoidance and procrastination. All this stress and guilt builds up and when someone asks me to do something for them I slip into my martyr mode and wince resentfully every time a straw is dropped on my back. This List interferes with things that are really important to me, but aren't demanding my immediate attention-like family time or exercising. I can see how easy it would be to just ignore everything and let it pile up to the point I get to guest star on Hoarders.

You'd think I would have figured out what I was doing wrong YEARS ago! I've been reacting to life instead of being proactive. I've learned how to take care of things (usually) just before they become a crisis, instead of being organized so I'm able to take care of things long before they become a problem. I've been so busy trying to get everything on my List done that I've wasted a lot of time that I could have been using to to do things that I love.

Alright.  The first step to solving a problem is recognizing it.  Check that one off the List.

Second step.  I need to make a plan.

The perfect plan would:
1. Organize all the housework and paperwork I need to do so I know I'll get around to everything before it becomes a crisis or is too late.
2. Has a system that is regular enough that it becomes a habit to do things that need daily or weekly attention.
3. Has some built-in down time, so I don't need to feel guilty about sitting down and reading a book or doing something trivial I love.
4. Frees up time for the things in life that are more important than a floor you don't stick to-like Family, Health, Religion.

I think any system at this point would be an improvement. I'm tired of treading water trying to just keep breathing. 
I'm off to do a little internet surfing for solutions-and since this post is a bit long, I'll stop here and outline the plan in the next one.


2 comments:

  1. I think you might be a genius. : )
    New follower!
    Hope you'll stop by,

    Tina

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks! Stopped by your blog, and I think I have to join your Do Nothing Club :D

    ReplyDelete